Introducing Taylor: A Patient Advocate Becomes the Patient

Stephanie Chuang: Hi, everyone. It’s Stephanie here with The Patient Story. I’m just starting something new here. Wanting to be able to touch base more with everyone out there who’s finding us. If you remember, I had my own cancer experience when I was diagnosed suddenly with a non-Hodgkin lymphoma. Diffuse large B-cell lymphoma. I was 31 at the time, two months from getting married, and it was a complete whirlwind, to say the least. 

But joining me today, I’m so excited to introduce someone who many people may be familiar with on our channel, Taylor. Taylor is on our team at The Patient Story. An amazing leader. And Taylor’s joining us for not-so-great reasons, but I am so grateful that she’s coming on to share her story. So, Taylor, do you want to share a little bit about yourself first, of course, outside of the cancer diagnosis?

The Shock of Diagnosis: Getting News from MyChart

Taylor Scheib: Yeah, it was a Monday night. 5:15 p.m.. I was about two weeks post partial thyroidectomy for a nodule on the right side of my thyroid. And that night, I just got a message from MyChart with my pathology results. And when I got the pathology results, it was out of sight, out of mind, from my surgery. Because not once did anyone say, “Hey, be on the lookout for your pathology.” I knew that the nodule and the mass were going to be sent off, of course, but I never thought that when I got those results, it would read anything but benign. And unfortunately, when I got those results, I was sitting on my couch, my husband’s cooking dinner. I get into MyChart, and the first thing I see is “oncocytic carcinoma of the thyroid gland.”

I immediately shoot up. I’m crying. My husband is like turning off the burners in the kitchen because I just bluntly, out loud go, “I’m pretty sure I have cancer.” And my husband goes, “What? What do you mean?” And that word ‘carcinoma’. I know what that means. And I don’t know if, before starting at The Patient Story and dealing with my mom’s diagnosis that I would have known what carcinoma meant. And so, because I am educated, because I’m privileged to work for such an amazing company where I’m learning so much every single day, I knew carcinoma meant cancer. We immediately came to this very spot, right where I’m sitting. We got on my laptop, we started researching, and the word oncocytic was a word I had never heard. I’d never seen or heard anything. Yeah, you start to Google. And that’s where my patient advocate story began, with my diagnosis.

Emotional Fallout: Processing a Cancer Diagnosis

Taylor Scheib: Yeah. I already have tears in my eyes thinking about this answer. Because when you work for an amazing organization like The Patient Story, you’re hearing these stories every single day. You’re writing scripts and you’re creating this beautiful content. The underlying thing is tragic, and that is a cancer diagnosis. And so I would be lying if I said I never thought I’d get cancer. I’ve thought it. And you become just so much more aware of your body and the feelings that you’re feeling, and going to the doctor and getting your checks, getting your women’s health exams when you’re listening to these incredible people every single day. 

And then when your mom goes through it as well. So I was shocked. But when the dust settled, I wasn’t that shocked because cancer can happen to anybody. And so being so young, I had just turned 30. My husband and I just came back from this incredible trip to Puerto Vallarta that he planned for my 30th birthday.

And this year was going to be filled with amazing trips and celebrating friends who are getting married. And you know, we’re doing all of those things still, of course. But in that moment, I just thought, what are the next six months going to look like? I’m such a planner, as Stephanie knows.

And I just kept thinking, what is this going to look like for me? And then the unknowns started. That started the spiral of, How do we know for sure that it’s all gone? But, going back to the emotional part of it, it was devastating for my husband and me. We have heard about cancer a lot in our families, so cancer was not new to us even before starting my job. But it was still just heartbreaking, devastating. 

Self-Advocacy: Trusting Your Instincts and Pushing for Answers

Taylor Scheib: Yeah, that message would be, you know your body best, and you know how comfortable you are with something inside your body or making a decision. And for me, when I found the nodule. It was after my 27th birthday. We had just karaoke all night. It’s one of my favorite pastimes.

And I immediately went to the doctor, got bloodwork, got an ultrasound of the lump, and from there, it was my choice, what I would do with that information. So I continued getting my yearly exams, getting full blood work done. And last year was when I was like, okay, this is getting bigger. People are starting to notice it. 

And I want to say this part as well, because I had a friend who, and this is where advocacy comes in many different ways, not only for yourself, but other people doing it for you. She noticed the lump, and her dad had thyroid cancer. So she asked me, “Have you gotten that checked out?” And I said, “Yes, I have.” But at that point, I realized that it’s been a year since I had done it previously. Why not get it done again? So I started the process all over. Routine blood work, ultrasound, you know, did that. And then I just wanted to get it out at that point because it was really large. It ended up being 5.7cm.

And so after that ultrasound, it was up to me to schedule the ENT appointment. You know, getting into the ENT took months. As we all know, those specialty appointments just take a long time to get into. So I finally got into the appointment in November, and my ENT was very casual about it. Looked at the ultrasound. 

Barriers and Delays: Navigating the Healthcare System

Stephanie Chuang: Yeah. So I just have to interject there because I feel like that part of the patient advocate story, right, is like it’s one of the parts of the experiences that we all experience to some degree, but isn’t talked about a lot, which is when you’re dealing with cancer. I remember, you know, getting told that this might be cancer and then being like, but it’s probably mono. And I was like, mono? And then it was like, but you need an ultrasound to one here, one here.

I got on the call to get it scheduled. And they said, “We don’t have an appointment for weeks.” And I’m thinking, you can’t tell me that there’s this thing and that I have to wait. So my point is that there’s the system, there’s like our situations, and this message of self-advocacy is, it truly is the squeaky wheel gets the grease or whatever, because you know, you know your body best what you just said and also you I mean, there’s some things that are out of our control. But you see, the system we’re working with and the unexpectedness of being like, how come I’m the only one who’s concerned about this? Did you feel that?

Taylor Scheib: Yes, I felt that. And it was. That’s been the whole thing over the last six months of seeing the NT. Getting the surgery scheduled is why there is no sense of urgency behind this. Every time I’ve seen my ENT. She’s so busy. When I had my follow-up for my surgery, it was not her. It was her [physician’s assistant] PA.

And it continued past my diagnosis. First of all, I found out through MyChart, which is a story I’ve heard, unfortunately. And every time someone I’m talking to tells me that story, instant goosebumps. Instant. Just feeling what they’re feeling through the screen. Then it was okay. Your case is going to be presented to the tumor board, and I want to make sure that I’m explaining what a tumor board is correctly. 

So Stephanie, please help me with this color. But basically, when you have a unique case like mine, where we thought it was benign for three years, the mass was 5.7cm. And then on top of that, it is a less common subtype of thyroid cancer. It’s being presented to the tumor board. Well, they only meet once a month. So and it was at the end of the month when this happened in April, so it wasn’t going to be until a month for the tumor board.

The Waiting Game: Coping with Uncertainty and Lack of a Plan

Taylor Scheib: It’s so hard, honestly, and I have my good days. I have my bad days, more good than bad days, which is good. But it’s just about occupying your mind. And when I was diagnosed and I started telling my close friends and family, I think, like trauma bonding, it’s very powerful. I have some friends that I don’t talk to every day, of course, but they’re your best friends no matter what. You pick up right where you left off. 

So, as crappy as this was to get this diagnosis, it gave me a chance to actually kind of get closer with some of my friends. That has been such an amazing distraction since my diagnosis, catching up with old friends, catching up with your family again. My dad is calling me so much more, he calls all the time in general, but even more so now, my grandparents are reaching out like every so often. So I would say that’s been one solid thing.

Then the other part has been my husband. He has been my rock, of course, through this. Then we’re super active people. So we went and bought really expensive bikes to get on the trails. Stay active. And we’re just trying to find ways to continue living our lives. And for us, that is planning a trip. So, sorry, Stephanie, in the next year or so, I’m going to be going on some trips.

Stephanie Chuang: Oh, 100%. And you should go out and live your life 100%. No apologies. That’s 100% what you should be doing. And it makes me so happy to hear that. Those are the steps that you guys are taking. So many things came up when you were talking about that. You know, when you talk about trauma bonding, I’ll talk about the flip side of some of the experiences I’ve had, too. But this is the question of why we need a reason? But we do. I love that it just automatically gave this a thumbs up. 

That’s just meant the world to me. And so those have been instances where it kind of stops you in your tracks. I don’t know if you’ve felt that way, but you just think, humanity is good. Yeah, yeah. Decency still. And there is a way to break through the screen. There’s a way to break through the phone call, the FaceTime, the message. And so I’m not sure if you felt that same way in those instances, but it stops you in your tracks, and you just realize, I have so many amazing people in my life.

Stephanie Chuang: Yes, 100%. It does resonate. Taylor. It’s 100% humanity is amazing. These are the beautiful moments of humanity when people come out. And, you know, I think a lot of the social stuff might be we are scared to, you know, reach out to someone from before because we think, well, what if they think I’m weird or they don’t even remember me or whatever? And these situations just take us completely out of that. Right. It’s like, no, I care about this person, or I just want them to know that I’m thinking about them, and it’s okay if they don’t reply or all those things. I think that is beautiful, and I wish more of us could get to that. 

Yes, 100%. It does resonate. Taylor. It’s 100% humanity is amazing. These are the beautiful moments of humanity when people come out. And, you know, I think a lot of the social stuff might be that we are scared to reach out to someone from before because we’re like, well, what if they think I’m weird or they don’t even remember me or whatever? And these situations just take us completely out of that. Right. No, I care about this person, or I just want them to know that I’m thinking about them, and it’s okay if they don’t reply or all those things. I think that is beautiful, and I wish more of us could get to that. 

Taylor Scheib: She was crying on the phone. And it makes me emotional because that’s an experience where she’s showing up for me. And that, and her mom, and her. They are like my OGs, but I don’t see them very often. And so it’s kind of the flip side of what you experienced. But what you experienced with someone dropping off like that is likely going to happen for me in the next six months or however long this process ends up being. 

But my mom experienced that. She was shocked by the people who she didn’t hear from again, or they didn’t show up for, you know, she had a benefit. They didn’t show up for that, or just a text message or a phone call. She was shocked by the couple of people. And you don’t forget those things, but I think it makes you become a better human in a way, and it makes you check up on your people a little bit more. That’s how I’m trying to spin it, at least.

Stephanie Chuang: And knowing you from what I know of you, Taylor, I don’t even think it’s a spin. I think you have that. That’s just the way you approach life. And I appreciate that. Yeah. No, 100%. I would say that was the only example of that. And everything was largely positive. I think I do want to call out that it may not happen to you, by the way. Right. I think it’s good to understand that if it does, though, that it’s normal and it’s not about you. It’s about them. And the other drop off, someone had warned me when I was just going through it, and she had gone through the same cancer just six months before I did. And she said, “Look, I’m struggling now that I’m done with treatment. People are like, you’re fine now.”

And then, the medical help drops off, and then the support also, because, well, you’re all good. And so that’s another conversation for another day. But I think my point is that at different parts of this, you know, it doesn’t mean, oh, I’m past this now. It’s that there’s different versions depending on where we are as patients, as people supporting other people, that these same emotions can come up or these same situations can come up. I also want the chance to drop in this video of my best friend in New York, she flew out with her husband, and at the time, I had to give myself blood thinner injections every day.

And those are freaking large. You know, I did IVF shots to freeze embryos at the same time. So I had to do the little needles and then the spring needles for the blood thinners. And, oh my God, it was terrible. And there’s a video of the way they supported me, trying to make fun sometimes. So, you know, the song that goes, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots. Yeah. So I was about to give one, and they go, “Oh, we’re just gonna sing the song for you.” And those are moments for sure where this is me getting loved on by people who are trying to lighten the situation for me in the way that they think might be helpful. So anyway, I think that’s awesome. 

Supporting a Loved One: Tips for Friends and Family from a Patient Advocate

Stephanie Chuang: I would give to people who are looking to support patients, because I’ve heard that a lot. Right? They might go, “Oh my gosh, my friend, my family member was just diagnosed. How can I support them?” I think in terms of messaging, I would always lead with whatever. If it’s an email or a text or whatever, or a voicemail.

No pressure to respond. I just wanted to, and that just takes off the pressure. So you get to send the message, and you’re letting them know. I get that you’re super busy and you’re occupied, and I’m not trying to take away your bandwidth. Another tip would be people ask about, “What can I send someone who’s just been diagnosed with cancer?” I’m going to ask you about this, too, so you can brainstorm. But I’ve often thought, if you can figure out if they know their treatment, I would base the care package on that. So if you know that they’re going through radiation, you can look, and we’re going to create this online to have some guides at The Patient Story, but it is to really look at what that modality of treatment is, and then try to send stuff. So, you know, I’ve sent organic lotions to people because they were going to get dry skin, blankets because one of the side effects was going to be feeling cold, things like that. I don’t know if there are things that you feel would be great advice for people trying to help people dealing with the new diagnosis.

Taylor Scheib: Yeah. You made such a great point. Blankets, things like that. But then I also think, like anything, that the person who’s going through the treatment or diagnosis, self-care, they should just put self-care out there.

So yeah, if it’s maybe organic products or maybe it’s a bath bomb, or of course, depending on their treatment, like we said. But for me, everyone knows I’m going through the waiting period. So I think a lot of people went, “How does she want to relax and sew face masks and bath bombs and electrolytes and different things like that?” So I would say anything that you can think of that person likes, that is self-care. 

Books, a journal. You can never have enough journals. Something to preoccupy them, too, whether that’s like a coloring book or, you know, crossword puzzles. Not that I do any of that, I’m not going to lie. But if you know that person enjoys that kind of pastime. Right. Or maybe something like, this is old school, but a CD with their favorite songs on it.

Stephanie Chuang: Right, right.

Taylor Scheib: And I also think, too, when it comes to what you could give that person or send them in these moments, it does not have to be elaborate. The small stuff means more. And so maybe it’s a Spotify playlist, maybe it’s a $15 Amazon gift card, maybe it’s a gift card to their favorite restaurant. The self-care food. 

Don’t overthink it. When you want to give something to that person. It can be something very small, even just a Venmo. I had a good friend, one of my best friends from home, send me a Venmo the day of my follow-up ENT appointment, and the caption was, Go get a cheeseburger after this.

Stephanie Chuang: Oh no, I love that it is. It’s the small things. It is that thought that counts. It is true. I think there are a couple of things that came to mind, too. And then we’ll and then we’ll wrap this conversation, which, by the way, I’ve enjoyed having with you. I think one quick note is if people are waiting. You’re not in the hospital. I know when I was waiting, and I was in the hospital for a shorter period of time, the nurses at one point said, “Don’t send flowers, or we’re telling people, don’t send flowers.” And that’s for when people are immunocompromised. 

The knee-jerk sometimes is like beautiful flowers, but just to make sure. 

Taylor Scheib: And it’s not even about the cancer. It is about making sure you are getting your physical exams, that you are getting your women, your women, health, health exams, your PAP smears, your full blood work, whatever it may be. 

I’m getting emotional about it because I feel like people get so lost in how they’re feeling, and they don’t know if it’s something, if it’s their life, because they’re really busy, or if it’s something underlying. And so I just want people to know that it’s okay to go to the doctor. It’s really scary. I totally get it. I was so scared to get this surgery, and now I’m dealing with voice loss, and I can’t get my voice back. So trust me. 

Oh my gosh, it’s so, so scary. But it doesn’t have to be. And find your partner, find your friend. Find your family. Find someone like The Patient Story who can hold your hand through that. So that was really the ‘why’ behind sharing the story publicly. The most therapeutic thing for me in this process, honestly, has been talking freely like this. When I posted those videos, they were maybe 15 minutes long, and I had to cut them down. 

But talking so freely about it has been so cathartic and so therapeutic for me. Those are like my blogs, like you did. I’m just doing it as a vlog. And after I get done, I go, “Wow, I kind of look cute.” I’m going to take a couple of selfies, you know? Yeah, go do things anymore.

You know, like those moments. You go, “Wow, I just feel so stinking good.” Yeah. And so that’s been super helpful. And then just keeping the lines of communication open with me, with my partner, with my husband, with my friends and family. You know, I just want to say this one part fast. My mom and I are best friends. We talk all the time, but recently we haven’t been able to talk a whole lot because she’s two hours ahead of me. We don’t work the same hours, or we do work the same hours. So, we’re constantly working. We’re not finding time to talk. 

And last night, I told her, I said, “I’m sorry. I have not been able to call you. I have just been so busy. There’s been so much going on.” And she goes, “It’s okay.” And I go, “But it’s not okay.” She goes, “I know, but I don’t know what to say.” And so it’s there, that balance of course, she knows I’m busy. She’s not pressuring me, but she just wants to have a conversation like this. She wants to just openly have the conversation. And we did talk today, and it was very therapeutic for me. So open communication and just kind of setting up my phone and talking. But that’s also because I’ve been doing that for so long, and I’m a storyteller by nature.

Stephanie Chuang: So you are. You really are.