Introduction

My husband and I live in Virginia and have a 1-½-year old daughter. I was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer at 22 in March 2019.

Pre-diagnosis

Initial Symptoms

It was the day after Valentine’s Day. My husband and I weren’t married yet. He was my boyfriend at the time. My mom loves to celebrate Valentine’s with the family. The celebration had ended and we were watching TV. He hugged me from behind and squeezed me tight. When he did, I felt some pain in my left breast. I realized there was a lump.

Diagnosis

Biopsy Results

The results revealed abnormal cells, so I had to go in for a second biopsy. That was the one that told us that I had breast cancer.

Reaction to the Diagnosis

When you’re 22 and recently graduated college, cancer is not on your mind at all.

My breast surgeon called me on the day the abnormal cells came back and said, “You need to come in again.” I went in and that’s when she started to prepare me that it could be cancer. She ended up calling me when she found out that it was.

She told me she cleared out an appointment for me at the end of the day and that we should get more information about the hormone receptors at that point. She scheduled an appointment so that I could talk to my family and get all of our questions written down before the appointment.

Chemotherapy

There were a few hiccups. I had to stop chemo early because Taxol (paclitaxel) was causing neuropathy in my fingers. It got too bad and my oncologist didn’t want permanent nerve damage to happen. I was a little bummed about stopping Taxol early because it made me feel like I wasn’t doing everything that I could, but it’s what happens when your side effects get too bad.

Originally, all of my doctors wanted me to do a double mastectomy because I was young. Younger women tend to choose a double mastectomy because it gives people peace of mind to make sure all of the breast tissue is removed and there’s no place for cancer to grow.

I had a scan where they saw a spot in one of my ribs. They weren’t positive it was cancer and it was in a weird location that they wouldn’t be able to biopsy it. We talked to neurosurgeons about removing it, but we weren’t sure if it was cancer.

When I had chemo and scans again, the spot was more contained. They said it was probably cancer because the chemo shrunk it. Then we realized I was stage 4 breast cancer.

Hormone Therapy & Targeted Therapy

I started hormone therapy and targeted therapy after radiation and did that for two years. Since I had radiation on that tiny spot on my rib, I had no evidence of disease (NED) on scans.

I was having a lot of side effects with hormone therapy and targeted therapy. Being NED for so long, I didn’t even know if these therapies were doing anything or just making me miserable. It was causing a lot of physical and mental side effects that were the hardest time in my life so far. Way harder than chemo, radiation, and the rest of it.

I wanted to stop early. My oncologist wanted me to get to three years, but I could only make it two.

Pregnancy was great. I still had all of the same pregnancy side effects, like nausea, but I was so used to being nauseous from treatment that it didn’t affect me. I just felt good that I wasn’t on medication. There were lingering side effects from both chemotherapy and targeted therapy. I still have hot and cold sensitivity in my fingers, toes, ears, and teeth. I have dry eyes.

It can be difficult because people don’t want their cancer to come back. They don’t want their child to be left without a mother. That’s the main worry people have. My philosophy on it is that you’re not a statistic. You don’t know what could happen in your life and you can’t let the fear of cancer coming back control your life. You can’t make every decision based on whether your cancer comes back or not.

If I can, then I will. If I feel good, then I’m going to do this or that. It’s not a decision that I made easily. My husband and I talked through it and we spoke to our doctor about it. We did what was best for him and what was best for our family specifically. It’s not for everybody. You have to figure it out for yourself.

Cancer Recurs

We were on a mountain one day taking family photos when I collapsed to the ground. My back hurt so bad that I couldn’t get up. Five guys had to carry me to the car. I went to the ER that day and eventually had a scan. The results showed a fracture in my spine because there was cancer growing in it, crushing the vertebrae, and causing the pain. Several lesions throughout my spine and pelvis were found on the MRI as well.

I couldn’t get on a plane to fly back to Virginia because they were worried that if something shifted, I could be paralyzed, so I needed to have surgery to stabilize my spine before moving back. We couldn’t even think about treating the cancer until that happened. It was scary because we weren’t doing anything to address the cancer.

I had surgery in the middle of August followed by a very painful recovery. I was already in a lot of pain beforehand, but I needed two weeks of recovery. When we got to Virginia, I met with my oncologist and came up with a new plan.

Joining the Clinical Trial

He was excited about the clinical trial because it used a new radium drug targeting bone metastases. It was already an approved treatment for prostate cancer with lots of success and this trial was testing it on metastatic breast cancer patients. We went with that because he said it could eliminate what’s in my bones.

The problem was that I didn’t know which group I would be in. They were going to tell me, but I was either going to be in the group getting chemo or in the group getting chemo and the radium drug.

That was a stressful time because there was a period when I had to wait to get approved for the trial. I couldn’t start the trial until 14 days after my last radiation, so for two weeks, I wasn’t doing anything and I could feel things getting worse.

I ended up in the radium arm of the trial, which was good, and I did that for a while. It helped with my pain a lot and decreased some of the markers in my body.

Treatment Decision-Making

People don’t realize how much thought is put into treatment-decision making. You think about it for days, weeks, and months, talking it through and talking to doctors. I think that experience was good because it led me to my decision and made me realize that I’m exactly where I should be.

Having a Strong Support System

I have a supportive husband and family who help talk through things with me. I think about things a lot, pray all the time, and try to get the wisdom to make all these decisions in a way that’s going to be the best for myself, my husband, and my daughter.

It’s not just about patience. It takes a lot of work and it’s not something that you make a split-second decision about. There’s a lot of thinking and praying.

Everything happens for a reason. Some people thought it was a dumb decision for me to get pregnant, but having her is what made me do this treatment in the first place. If I didn’t have a baby who was so dependent on me, I don’t think I would’ve even considered going back on hormone therapy. I would’ve done the chemo pill. It could have worked, but it could not have worked. Having her around gave me this huge drive to live for as long as possible. It’s what made me even try it again in the first place. I wouldn’t have even known that it would be better this time around.

A cancer diagnosis is harder on the family than on the person going through it. Your family loves you. A lot of family members feel like they’re being pushed away and that they’re not wanted. My instinct is to do that because I don’t want to put a burden on them. But at the end of the day, it’s important that they’re there. The best thing that a family member can do is be there and listen. What to say and do is going to be different for everybody, but being there is a good place to start.