First Cancer Diagnosis

Initial Symptoms

I wasn’t feeling well and was very tired. My lymph nodes behind my ears, my armpits, and my groin area were swollen. I couldn’t sleep.

I finally decided to go to the doctor. My primary care doctor was pretty sure that I had cancer.

They did the first biopsy in the office. They cut behind my ear to remove some tissue. It wasn’t good enough so they had to do another biopsy where they sedated me and took more tissue. I had to wait about two weeks.

I received a phone call one morning. “We need to see you as soon as possible.” When I walked in, I had a feeling that the news wasn’t going to be positive. It was a very uneasy feeling not knowing how that visit would go, but I knew that it wasn’t good news.

There have been moments in the past when I was feeling the same way, but it didn’t linger. It disappeared. This time, the pain progressively got worse and very uncomfortable.

Reaction to the Diagnosis

I didn’t know how to take that. Cancer is cancer. I was in shock, but had a sense of relief, in a way because now I knew the reason why I wasn’t feeling well. Now that we are here, we can start the process of what would be the next step for me.

I wanted to be proactive. If there’s something that I need to do, the more information I have will help me know how to deal with it to get to a place where this is no longer an issue. But I knew there was something wrong.

After receiving the initial diagnosis, I wasn’t worried about myself. I was worried about how to tell my family. How do you start that conversation?

I wasn’t worried about the future. My faith kicked in at that point. I wanted a plan of attack to get started with the process of healing.

Treatment

I went to treatment three times a week and had blood tests every week.

After my first treatment regimen, the cancer was still active in my lymph nodes so we started another treatment regimen. My doctor thought that would work best for me.

Side Effects of Treatment

I lost my hair. It affected me in a much different way.

Throughout treatment, I continued coaching and working. I continued being a part of my honor guard team, which was very important to me.

I maintained my lifestyle and activities as much as possible to help me not focus on my circumstances and what I was going through. Of course, there were days when I wasn’t feeling like this, but they weren’t as often as I thought they would be.

Second Cancer Diagnosis

Initial Symptoms

In January 2020, I relocated from Long Beach, California, to Savannah, Georgia, for work. In the era of COVID, it was a very isolated time moving to a new city.

There, a primary care doctor noticed that my PSA counts were continually rising. He suggested I go to a urologist and have them run some tests. It was discovered that I had prostate cancer.

Getting the Prostate Cancer Diagnosis

It was a shock. I had been feeling very uncomfortable after riding a bike for numerous miles. This pain was different than being on a bike for 2 or 3 hours.

Breaking the News to Family & Friends

It was very difficult, but I knew I couldn’t keep it to myself because having a support team is very important.

As a father, we want to protect our children. But without sharing the news with them, we hurt them at the same time. It definitely brought us together and made our relationship much stronger.

My son was playing basketball in Finland at the time, but I knew that was a phone call I had to make. It was very difficult for me to share the news with him being in another country.

They were in shock. They felt sorry for me. It was hard for them to come and sit with me during treatment, but as I progressed and went into remission two times, they saw strength, confidence, and resilience.

Talk to your sons about your cancer experience and what they should be keeping an eye out for. I know more about my family history so I pass it on to them. It’s something that they should stay on top of and not be prideful about.

Sharing that news with my mother was very difficult because she was battling breast cancer in North Carolina at the same time.

I was diagnosed with cancer for a second time. My son was in Finland playing basketball. There was a lot going on, but I knew I had my faith to fall back on and I could see myself assuming my normal daily life.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t sit down for more than 5 minutes at a time. I was allowed to work from home, but it meant standing up as soon as I could. A friend was nice enough to drive with me to North Carolina to see my mother. Unfortunately, that was the last time that I saw her. She passed away the following week.

My mother’s very strong. Being strong, knowing that you’re going to be okay, and falling back on your faith came from her. She was more worried about how I was doing than what she was going through.

Prostate Cancer Treatment Options

I was given three options. I could have my prostate frozen, undergo radiation treatment, or have my prostate removed. I asked my doctor what choice would he make if he were in my position. He said he would have it removed so I made the same choice.

After three years of immunotherapy treatment, I didn’t want radiation because of what it does to your body. For me, the best choice after getting advice from my doctor was to have my prostate removed and deal with the process of recovery and healing.

I had a chance to discuss my options with the surgeon as well as my primary care doctor. A team of doctors gave me what they thought the best options were and what the side effects would be.

Importance of a Strong Support System

My high school basketball head coach had my initials along with our trainer who was also going through cancer treatment put on the jerseys for that season. They had us come up. To have a high school cheer for you made a big difference.

A good support group comes in handy. You can pick up the phone and say, “Hey, I’m not feeling well. I have this test coming up.” To have someone to reassure you that everything’s okay makes a big difference.

My faith was first and foremost. That was my go-to. I also had my support group and my friends from church.

It’s very important to have a first responder, someone you can go to when you receive bad news.

My circumstances don’t control who I am, but at the same time, I have a core support group that I can reach out to when I’m not feeling my best. They reassure me that I’m okay and I can reassure them that they’re okay.

I believe everyone’s given a gift in life. When you’re not feeling well, your body tells you. It’s very important to listen to your body and go to a doctor rather than trying to diagnose yourself.

My story can be used to cheer someone else on. I became stronger, more generous, and more understanding of others. There’s nothing more powerful than when you’re going through treatment.

I’m blessed to sit here and tell my story and have that opportunity to bless someone else.

Cancer is part of my life story, but fortunately, I’m blessed to share this story with other men who may not want to get checked out. Even women ask me how I’m able to do what I do. First, my faith. Second, I didn’t let my circumstances control who I am.

Having a very strong mindset from the beginning is the key. See yourself not where you are now, but where you will be when you go into remission. Realizing that through that process there will be days when you’re not feeling your best. But remember, those days won’t last for long.

I have a sense of gratitude that I can ride 50 miles at 25 miles an hour. I can push it to 30 miles an hour.

As a cancer survivor, I hope that what I’ve gone through can give someone else hope to hang in there. No matter how tough it is today, tomorrow is going to be better.

I’m blessed to tell my story. I didn’t know when that process started that a bike would be my saving grace. But it was and I could use that as part of my journey to help someone else.