Rach DiMare (Breast Cancer, Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, Stage 2, Triple Positive)

“I immediately called my husband, and I literally said, ‘Hey, I just got the results.’ I think he knew. I think he probably could tell by my tone, my voice – I’m not sure. 

I called my parents and pretty much just told them. At first my dad was confused. He said, ‘Are you sure that’s what you heard?’ I told him, ‘I’m pretty sure that’s what she said because she’s having me schedule to see an oncologist and a surgeon.’ So my dad said he’d my mom, pick her up from work immediately, and come see me.

I think it was harder for my in-laws, I’m also close with them, because they weren’t in town. They were in Florida. I let my husband handle it. They were very shaken up with the news. But there was no way to dance around the results.”

Brittany Wagner (Cervical Cancer, Squamous Cell Carcinoma, Stage 4B)

I was with my husband. I remember not being able to call and tell my mom. I asked my husband to do that  because they admitted me to the hospital that night because I was so badly in need of a blood transfusion.

I broke the news to my family and friends. It was hard. I mean, to my parents like I said, my husband is the one that originally told them of the diagnosis.

I called my best friend, who’s really more like a sister to me, honestly. I’ve known her since I was eight. I told her.

At that time I was basically like, I assumed it would be a slow stage of cancer. I just thought, ‘Okay, I have this and we’re gonna get through this.’ I just remember I was more concerned about their feelings and telling them these things then I was about myself at that time.

When I had to tell my parents about the staging, that was hands down the hardest thing. Having to tell them that I was stage 4B or whatever, that night I think I had, I don’t know, a crazy, large glass of gin to get through it, telling them.

I just remember saying, ‘It’s really not good you guys. I’m going to do the best I can, but it’s really not good.’ I found having to tell other people to be literally the hardest thing about this.  I find it so hard to have to share with my loved ones.”

Patrick Mulick (Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, Primary Mediastinal, Stage 2)

We did it right. We spent an evening when they got home from school all together. We talked them through what cancer is – the spectrum of it. We explained to them what I had been told that I had. 

We didn’t promise them anything. We just said, ‘We have some very good doctors who are going to be working with dad.’

Because we were emotionally calm, they were able to stay pretty calm.

Plus, we told them after we talked, we were going to go out to dinner and have some ice cream. They were fine once it was over.

Throughout the entire process, I don’t think one of my kids shed a tear, and that’s okay. I don’t think they fully understood the gravity of what I was going through. 

When they’re older and better able to understand the details of it, I’ll explain it to them then. They knew as much as they needed to know. They took it all very well.”

Jodi Smith (Ovarian Cancer, Epithelial, Stage 4)

I would definitely say to be honest with your kids. I think they are a lot more scared when they know something’s wrong but they don’t know what it is.

Even though my kids were scared of the ‘C’ word, cancer, they would go to school and they would come home after school and say, ‘Somebody said you can die from cancer. Can you die from cancer?’ 

I said, ‘Yes, you can die from cancer but mom is not there. I’m doing treatments and it’s working, I’m getting better right now. If it ever got bad and I was going to die, I would talk to you about that, I would tell you.’