Introduction

I’m 35 years old. I have three kids, ages 17, 12, and three.

I’m married. My husband works in the medical field. He used to be an oncology nurse, but he’s a case manager now so he’s still in the medical field but in a different branch.

I was in school prior to being diagnosed. Now I’m volunteering. I love volunteering at my church. I teach catechism and found that I really love working with children, especially adolescents.

Only this time, it didn’t. The following day, I woke up feeling very bloated and uncomfortable so I thought, Maybe one more day, but it went that way the whole week. My husband, being a nurse, said, “This is strange. You shouldn’t be feeling this way. Not after a week.” He kept telling me to go to the ER, but I was hesitant because my idea was that the ER is for life or death and I didn’t feel like this was such a situation.

Scheduling a PCP Appointment

I made an appointment with my regular doctor. This was September. They didn’t schedule it until October. My husband said, “No, you need CT scans. You need additional testing.”

Finally, Saturday came and this was a week from the prior Saturday when I felt that sharp stomach pain. I woke up and was still feeling really uncomfortable. By then, my tummy looked a couple of months pregnant. It was so bloated and uncomfortable.

Getting a CT Scan

He does the CT scan. I was still waiting by myself. I have the app for that particular medical group so I can get my results before the doctor can come in and tell me.

I had been looking at my blood test results, taking screenshots, and sending them to my husband who was home with my two girls. My 17-year-old son was out of town at the time. I thought, Maybe my CT scan results are in, so I check and they were.

Getting the Results

Everything was broken down. I didn’t understand the medical terms so I scrolled to the bottom because I knew it would have a conclusion where they give you the bigger picture.

I felt like a bucket of water had been thrown my way. I felt my heart skip a beat and drop. I don’t remember the exact words, but all I remember are the words “cancer” and “tumor.”

Processing the Diagnosis

I was trying to process what I read. At that moment, my husband raced over to the hospital. He started calling my mom, my dad, and my siblings, and they all arrived and were very supportive.

Looking back, I don’t know if this was a symptom, but my stomach was so irregular. If I ate something like carbs, I would get constipated. If I did have blood in my stool, I thought it was constipation because it was so hard to go to the bathroom. It wasn’t something that would scare me or be a red flag.

Cancer never went through my mind. Nobody in my family has had cancer, any type of cancer. I’m the first one so it was a shock to everybody in my family.

Leaning on Faith

I’m a practicing Catholic so my faith is a big part of my life. I don’t remember what procedure it was. It might have been my colonoscopy because I was going to be put to sleep.

I remember the countdown and having a conversation with God and saying, “I give this all to you. I don’t know what my journey will be like, but I hand it all over to You. Whatever happens, let me have peace. Let my family have peace. You’re completely in control.”

As I fell asleep, I felt so much peace. It helped me stay calm. At that time, I didn’t know what the stage was and where I was with the diagnosis. All I knew was I had a tumor and I had colon cancer, but I had a lot of peace after that.

I decided that I wasn’t going to be angry because being angry was going to feed this monster. I wanted to do what I needed to do. I gave it all up to God and I felt a freedom after that.

Realizing the Gravity of the Situation

My husband was an oncology nurse and worked years in that department so he has been my biggest advocate. I understood that that was pretty late, but I didn’t understand the gravity of it.

I try not to Google because online, they will tell you the worst-case scenario and I didn’t want to know so much. I don’t think I understood what that meant until I had a conversation with my oncologist a few months down the road.

I was under the understanding that I would have surgery to remove the tumor and start treatment and all that. I asked the doctor when we would start thinking about surgery. She wouldn’t straightforwardly say we’re not looking at surgery, but the conversation led to that. Surgery was not on the table because my cancer had spread.

That’s when it hit me. My heart dropped. My husband was right next to me during the video call. After we hung up, I looked at him and asked him for clarification to see if I understood right and that’s when I broke down. I understood then that it was a lot more serious than I thought.

New Stomach Pains

I ended up going to the emergency room again at the beginning of October. It started with horrible stomach pain. It felt like contractions. I could not eat anything. The smallest thing I would vomit back up. My husband made me a smoothie, begging me to eat something.

I spent the whole Saturday in bed, in pain and extremely nauseous. We thought it was a reaction to the immunotherapy because I just had my first dose. But it was horrible. The pain was so excruciating.

On Sunday morning, my husband turned to me and asked how I was feeling. I said, “I don’t feel good. What do we do?” He said, “ER.” We headed to the ER. The same doctor that diagnosed me was there. As soon as he saw my name, he rushed into my room. After reading my symptoms, he had an idea of what the issue was.

He looked at me and said, “Remember that first day when I told you this would be a long journey and there would be some bumps in the road? This is just a bump.”

He thought it was a blockage. The tumor was already blocking the passage so I was eating, but nothing was coming out. The only way to confirm this was to have another CT scan and it confirmed that my tumor was blocking 98% of the colon. He said I would need an emergency ostomy.

Prolapsed Stoma

Immediately after, I started having issues with my ostomy. It prolapsed so it was starting to come out. Mine started protruding. Eventually, it would get really big and would hang out. It was very painful. I started developing a pretty good-sized hernia right behind it. Once I lay down, it went back into my body.

It’s a blessing because, without this, I could have lost my life so I was very, very thankful for it. But it was very uncomfortable. I had to use a waistband to keep everything in place.

My quality of life wasn’t good. I couldn’t do much. I couldn’t do basic tasks because I felt so tired. It hurt. I couldn’t lift.

I said to my oncologist, “We have to fix this because this is not a good way to live. My future is so unknown. I want to be able to go to the park. I want to be able to do stuff with my kids. I want to make memories.” The conversation started happening about referring me to another oncologist for a second opinion to see what we could do.

Surgery

Colon Resection, Ostomy Reversal & Hernia Repair

Thank the Lord, everything came out great.

The first night was horrible. I had so much pain because it was a pretty big opening. She took out the main tumor and a big chunk of my colon, and she repaired my hernia.

I went back for my follow-up appointment to remove the drainage. She told me that the doctor had taken out everything. She focused on the colon. She gave me the great news that from stage 4, it had gone to stage 1. If the cancer hadn’t spread, that would have been the end of my cancer journey. We still had the liver and the peritoneal area.

The amazing news was that we were heading in the right direction. This is from surgery being off the table to removing this tumor. It was such a blessing. She also took out my appendix because it was connected somehow. She said that they went through it and they studied it and had no cancer, which is amazing news. The cancer stopped spreading.

Partial Hepatectomy (Liver Resection)

We scheduled surgery again for September 20th. I mentioned to him about the lining of the stomach and he said he would look into it. He would check that out, too. The surgery date came, I had surgery, and it was successful. Thank God.

He said that everything looked great based on what he saw, but I still needed to have PET and CT scans to confirm. But he said that everything looked great and that the immunotherapy and surgery were successful.

Follow-up Appointment

I saw my oncologist recently, who scheduled me for a PET scan to see where we’re at, but he said that I look good and that everything looks great.

Husband as Biggest Advocate

I knew nothing about cancer, just little things that my husband would tell me when he would come home. He would get close to patients that he cared for and when they would pass away, he’d come home sad and we’d talk about it.

Things would be different if my husband didn’t have the knowledge that he did. He’s been my biggest advocate. He understands so he can have conversations with the doctors and surgeons. I don’t know what my situation would have been like otherwise.

I saw a palliative care doctor and she would ask me how he was doing. She said that knowing works like a double-edged sword because he knows too much. He knew stage 4 was serious. He knows that this can go south fast so I can’t imagine what he feels being my husband and knowing all this information.

In a way, sometimes I feel like ignorance is bliss. I didn’t know much, which helped me because I didn’t realize the extent of my illness until I had that conversation with my doctor that one day. But having somebody who knows is big.

So many people are dying because they’re being diagnosed at such a late stage. It’s so silent at the beginning and you don’t know that there’s something wrong until it starts creating havoc in your body and that needs to change.

We need to have a colonoscopy or whatever testing is available at a younger age. My siblings were able to schedule a colonoscopy immediately because I have cancer. They became high risk. My sister had such a hard time scheduling an appointment because of insurance. That should change.

You have to advocate. Speak up and be firm. If something is wrong, don’t stop because the more you wait, the more this monster can mess with your health.