Introduction

I live in Southern California. I had a lymph node in my neck that was enlarged. I was diagnosed with chronic lymphocytic leukemia (CLL) in 2019. They gave it a little positive spin and told me that if I had to have cancer, it was the best kind to have.

How She Found Out She Had Cancer

I noticed a lump in my neck, so I went to my primary doctor. She didn’t know what it was, so she sent me for a CAT scan. I had a biopsy and that’s how it was diagnosed.

I didn’t have any other symptoms, so it was quite a shock. I’m relatively healthy, so to have someone say that I had cancer, I thought, “That can’t be,” but it was.

It’s very scary. One of the hardest things for me was telling my kids. It’s hard to tell your kids that you have cancer, but they were very supportive. I noticed the lump in September and was diagnosed in November, so it was very quick.

Learning She Wouldn’t Get Treatment Right Away

I was on watch and wait. Some people call it watch and worry. Because the side effects of the medication can be bad, they don’t want to start treatment until your symptoms are much more severe, so I wasn’t treated until June 2021.

I came up with an idea during watch and wait. Think of it as boot camp. When you go to boot camp, they get you physically strong and when you’re physically strong, you do exercises to keep it that way. If you’re not, then you start.

Next, they teach you what you need to do if you have to go into battle, which is what you need to learn about chronic lymphocytic leukemia. The next thing they do is build a community around you. I didn’t recognize it at the time, but those were the steps I took. If a person would use watch and wait as a boot camp rather than as a time to worry, it would make a difference.

Fatigue was the only thing that I felt that made a difference. Eventually, I told a couple of my hiking friends. I also put in a prayer request at church, so my church family knew.

I see myself as a strong person. When something happens to you, you think that will diminish your strength and people will start looking at you differently because you aren’t as strong as you thought you were.

There are several types of treatments. I didn’t qualify for some because I’m taking blood pressure medication and blood thinners. There’s time-limited therapy and medication that you’re on for life or until it quits working and then they put you on a different one. We had a family meeting after my grandson’s wedding and we decided that I should do the targeted, time-limited medication.

Being Off-Treatment

I have blood tests every three months and see the oncologist every six months. I have no symptoms. Everything’s good. I couldn’t ask for anything better.

I don’t even think about it anymore. Before treatment, it used to be like having a time bomb that you’re waiting to go off. But since I’ve had treatment, I rarely even think about it — only when I have my blood test or oncologist appointment. I’m a very positive person.

I listen to a Christian radio station in my car and I heard something that said, “Change the things you can and adjust your attitude to the things you can’t.” Why worry about the things that we can’t change? If my chronic lymphocytic leukemia comes back, I’ll be treated again. It’s likely to come back. I’m not cured. I’m in remission or what they call undetectable minimal residual disease (uMRD).